Everything You Know About Self-Awareness Is Wrong

It’s been a very long time since I published an issue of this newsletter; I used the summer to gain some perspective. This issue shares a story from one of my LinkedIn newsletters; it explains one of the things I have learned.

Today's story revolves around Sarah, a successful entrepreneur. Driven and growth-oriented, she's devoted significant time and energy to increasing her self-awareness. Through workshops, coaching, and her own personal practices, Sarah has gained keen insight into her thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. She understands what pushes her buttons, what motivates her, and how to regulate her responses to stress. Sarah feels she's on the path to mastery of both her inner and outer worlds.

If you met her, I bet you would agree.

But not long ago, a mentor raised a perspective-shifting question. "Sarah," he observed, "You've developed wonderful awareness of your mind and your conditioning. But have you ever inquired into who or what is aware of all those things in the first place? What is the 'you' that is conscious of your every thought, feeling, and action?"

At first, Sarah was perplexed. Isn't she simply... herself?

Her mentor explained that what Sarah has been referencing as her "self" is merely an intricate tapestry of thoughts, sensations, memories, and personality traits; they are temporary and ever-changing.

There is something deeper in her: an unwavering constant that has been aware of every one of those fluctuations. That "something" is not limited to or defined by Sarah's body, mind, or personal history. It is pure, unconditioned awareness—vast, unchanging, and (here’s the kicker)... the same in every human being.

A Much Deeper Dimension of Self-Awareness

This conversation cracks open Sarah's worldview. She begins to see that the "self" she's been so diligently developing and refining is not actually her truest, most essential nature. Who she is at the deepest level—her real self—is the awareness that has been observing and experiencing her body-mind's unfolding journey.

This awareness isn't a personal possession; It is the common ground of all being.

Sarah learns that this uncommon view of self flows from the philosophy of non-duality, which challenges the assumed reality of existing as a separate individual "I." It points to the possibility that our typical sense of being an isolated, finite self—an ego-mind encased in a body—could be a misperception. Our actual identity may be open, unbounded awareness, seamlessly one with the awareness looking out of every pair of eyes.

Two key figures in non-dual teaching, Ramana Maharshi (1879-1950) and current author Rupert Spira, refer to this pure, contentless consciousness as "being aware of being aware." Just as a movie screen remains unaffected by the dramas playing out in the films it displays, the light of awareness remains pristine and untouched by the mind's ceaseless activity. In moments of heightened lucidity, we may recognize that we are not the passing characters and scenes of our life story but the ever-present "screen" of awareness upon which that narrative unfolds.

Typically, our attention is so absorbed in the "movie" of our human experience that we overlook the "screen" on which it all appears. Our focus on objects—which include thoughts, feelings, relationships, and goals—conceals our true identity as the knower of every experience.

When awareness investigates the source of the "I" thought, the sense of being a separate self is revealed as a mirage.

What's revealed is the luminous, boundless awareness—unconditioned love-intelligence—from which the mind-body instrument emerges like a wave from the sea.

Why This Matters for Business Leaders

At this point, you may be wondering what this metaphysical discussion has to do with meeting payroll, innovating new products or services, and skillfully managing your team. How does an exploration of non-dual awareness help you be a better leader and build a thriving business?

There are several ways in which this deeper form of self-inquiry is powerfully relevant.

First, when you root your identity in your psychological "self," it's easy to lead from a place of chronic insufficiency. The ego-mind is like a leaky boat, always trying to fill itself through achievements, acquisitions, and approval. From this stance of lack, you can make fear-based decisions, succumb to short-term thinking, and struggle to build authentic connections.

Second, the belief in being a separate self fuels a continuous sense of competition and division. When you see yourself and others as isolated entities, you perceive relationships in terms of "us vs. them." This mindset can poison organizational culture, inhibit collaboration, and block access to collective intelligence and co-creation.

Finally, when you are unknowingly fused with the passing contents of your mind, you have little choice but to react rather than respond to challenges. You can get carried away by thoughts and emotions, tossed about by the mind's tumultuous condition. From this fragmented state, it's difficult to tap into deeper wells of intuition, resilience, and creative problem-solving.

In contrast, when you lead from an embodied understanding of your essential nature as non-dual awareness, you are aligned with the deepest sources of wisdom, compassion, and insight. You trade a scarcity mindset for a more expansive orientation. Anchored in an unshakable presence, you navigate the chaos and demands of leadership with greater grace and perspective. Divisions soften, and collaboration deepens in the light of our shared essence. You have more space around thoughts and are less prone to impulsive reactivity.

Reimagining Leadership Through Non-Dual Awareness

Remember Sarah? Inspired by her mentor's words, she committed to a daily practice of self-inquiry in the spirit of Ramana Maharshi's teachings. In moments of confusion or stress, Sarah now asks herself, "Who am I? Who or what is aware of this moment?" She notices the space of pure awareness illuminating the movements of her mind.

As Sarah begins to glimpse the ever-present reality of unconditioned awareness, she feels a subtle but palpable shift in her way of being. She still diligently attends to her responsibilities and goals, but with a gentler touch, holding her personal narrative more lightly. As the self-sense softens, more qualities of the universal awareness she is underlie her leadership. Sarah listens more and reacts less. Her mind generates fresh perspectives and solutions. A current of joyful presence flows through even mundane tasks.

Sarah also brings this non-dual understanding to her organizational culture. She invites her team into an exploration of this deeper dimension of self—not through explicit spiritual teaching but by constantly pointing to the unifying ground beneath all their diverse expressions. She models what it looks like to lead not just from the head but from an integration of head, heart, and "soul"... the clear light of pure awareness. Trust, creativity, and collective flow grow as her team syncs with this subtler field.

From Fixing to Seeing

The prevailing view of self-awareness emphasizes upgrading the mind-made self. We focus on understanding our patterns and triggers so we can overcome limiting behaviors. We strive to clarify our purpose, optimize our strengths, and actualize our potential. These are worthy efforts, but from the non-dual view, they only address one level of self—the level of the psyche, the conditioned personality.

What the non-dual approach to self-awareness adds is a redefinition of self. It invites us to "self-realize"—to experientially know who we are at the deepest level.

When we shift from being identified as a time-bound person to knowing ourselves as timeless presence, we still honor our uniqueness while also recognizing our inseparable unity with all of life.

We embrace both our relative human self and the limitless awareness we are. This inclusivity brings more presence to our performance as business leaders.

Non-dual teaching has evolved over millennia in contemplative traditions, but it feels newly relevant in our current age of volatility and complexity. In a time of escalating change and uncertainty, the ego-mind's effortful strategies and solutions often fall short.

You need not just a sharper intellect but a more spacious, intuitive intelligence… a way of being that has been sourced in the wisdom of unconditioned awareness.

When we know ourselves as that awareness, we bring its clarity, creativity, and care to all we engage in.

The next time you reflect on your growth and development, I invite you to include this deeper dimension of self-inquiry. Even as you continue optimizing your mind, consider asking, "Who is it that is aware of this mind?" If you trace that inquiry to its source, you may discover the self you've been seeking has always been right here, present in every moment of your precious life.

Meeting yourself as you truly are, beyond name, face, and form, may be the most profound leadership move you can make.

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"Sarah" is an identity I created to make it easier for you to grasp these observations, much as your Awareness created you to grasp the events you encounter in everyday life.

I am the founder of Bend Reality and Meditate for Peace.

You can find more of my work at Kasanoff.com.