Reality Is More Flexible Than You Think—Here’s How to Bend It

This is Rita, our foster dog from Mexico. Like most of us, she loves to be loved. (Consider that a not-so-subtle remind to spread love wherever you go.)

The world can be divided, more or less, into two groups of people:

• Reality Benders

• Reality Takers

Reality Benders know that to a certain degree, they can bend reality. These people are mostly what I call “gentle wishers”. They set an intention, visualize it clearly, and then let it go. No agonizing. No obsessing. They make a wish and let it go. Before long, it comes true.

Reality Takers are those who believe there’s nothing they can do about reality. It just happens. “Be realistic” is a favorite saying among this group.

I’ve learned not to spend any time persuading Reality Takers to become Reality Benders. When they’re ready, I’m glad to help. Before that moment, trying to help is a waste of time.

This is because to become a Reality Bender, you have to Do The Work.

Let’s get specific. This illustration shows two different states, or ways of being. The top one is where most people spend 99.5% of their time. They know things: how to boil an egg, start a company, find a spouse, raise a kid. They have thousands of beliefs: the Earth is round, murder is wrong, vitamins are good for me, grapefruit is sour. Their knowledge enables them to earn a living and get stuff done.

But this is not the realm in which gentle wishing lives. It’s not how you bend reality, because all those beliefs get in your way. For example, for those of you new to this practice, one of your beliefs is almost certainly, “I can’t really bend reality.”

The alternative state is not knowing. It’s intentionally setting aside all of your beliefs: that a rock is solid, that the thing in the middle of your dining room is a table, that when you turn your back on the moon it still exists.

A wonderful way to explore this not knowing state is to ask “what is this?” and then sit with the question. Sit in front of a tree and ask “what is this?” Sit inside your house and ask the same question. Look up at the stars or imagine someone elsewhere in the universe looking up at you. Ask the question and sit for a good long while with it.

The more time you spend in this not knowing state, the more likely you are to become a person who can bend reality.

If you don’t believe me, that’s perfectly okay.

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This is a free edition of Bend Reality. The difference between the free and paid editions of this newsletter is that paid members receive invitations to virtual gatherings that I lead. Thanks to the people who attend and their willingness to Do The Work, these gatherings can be quite profound.